I had a neighbor pull over this weekend as I was doing yard work to tell me she was looking at the blog almost daily waiting to hear the scan results! I guess after I posted it to Facebook I totally forgot I needed to fill in all our blog followers. It made me so happy to see her face light up when I told her our great news... HIS SCAN WAS CLEAR! So tonight I sit down and write, as Jonathan is at the hospital, probably taking his very last drop of chemo as we speak.
I almost can't even describe our feelings over the last couple of weeks. This last year has been one hell of a wild ride for our entire family. When Jonathan told me Dr. Raj called and his scan was clear, I actually jumped on the bed and started dancing! Jonathan laughed at me, but I think if he could jump he would have joined me. But after that initial excitement, we realized we still had 2 more rounds to finish and that pure joy hasn't quite yet returned. I'm hoping as we wrap up the chemo, and the side effects start to dissipate, our joy will continue to grow. We have been much happier these last couple weeks, but I guess it's hard to be "over the moon" when Jonathan is still having to deal with all the side effects of chemo. Maybe that's why we aren't feeling like one would expect? But don't worry, the therapist said we are both still normal.
(Our family photo as daddy was getting his last round of chemo!)
So today was Jonathan's last day of chemotherapy! It turned out to be kind of an interesting day... Similar to the very first day we checked in for chemo, there was no bed for him. This time we know the nurses and decided to check ourselves into the family room on the 7th floor instead of wait on the 9th floor. So we hung out with strangers and they started Jonathan on his IV in the waiting room. We met another very nice young family who's daddy/husband has multiple myeloma. This very young girl had her first experience calling 911 the night before as her daddy was bleeding profusely from his hickman, just like Jonathan has. His chemo isn't working! I think these girls were maybe 7 and 9 with a mom not much older than Jon and I. She told us we made her day that she got to meet someone that beat it, and we got to share with her what today feels like. So as I'm suppose to sit here and write about how awesome today is, I can't stop crying for this family. This is what we see every day in that hospital, and being that family is still my worse fear. Maybe that's why we can't actually feel so "over the moon" excited. This is so very real to us. And if it isn't us, we have a very real understanding that it is happening to someone else.
But we also got to learn what a true gift we have been given, and we plan on making the most of every second we have together as a family, before Jonathan goes back to work. If the Doc gives us the green light we may take a road trip over the boy's spring break just the 4 of us. Then shortly after that we are going to head to Hawaii for a week to fulfill a promise to the kids on that vacation to the ocean. It's about 1 summer late, and we are beyond ready to escape from life for a few days and just relax with no worries or stress about doctors, chemo, chores, etc. I'm certain when we get there, that pure joy feeling will be back! It really means that this is over.
I'm going to leave you with Jax's prayer from tonight. "Jesus, thank you that tomorrow daddy gets the tubes out of his chest. He is really excited about that. And Jesus, thank you for listening to my prayers and helping dr. Raj take away daddy's Cancer. You have magic! Please help me have no bad dreams tonight. Amen!"
(Thank you to the nurses from the bottom of our hearts for everything you have done to help Jonathan over the last 9 months. You are an incredible crew that has allowed Jonathan to keep his sense of humor and helped him make the best of something not so awesome! You are a gift from God! Trust me, I understand why you have started taking his blood pressure around his neck!)
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