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This last week has really been roller coaster ride to say the least. After finding out that Jonathan also had skin cancer, I was really beginning to feel discouraged and was beginning to question God's plan. Why do we have to deal with one more thing? But it is so funny how God challenges you and seems to come through every time.
On Friday I was on the phone frantically trying to find the right surgeon that would understand enough about our current situation to give an informed perspective on our new situation. Our medical oncologist was doing the same thing. After speaking with a guy from Cancer Care Northwest, we came to understand that Jonathan's skin cancer seems to be pretty minor. He recommended that with Jonathan's compromised immune system that we should not do the more invasive surgery to check if the cancer has spread to the lymph. This will open up the risk for more complications and more infection. He seemed to think from the depth of the melanoma, we got it early and this will be a really minor thing. But we can use this new diagnosis of a new condition to our advantage! They ordered a PET scan to make sure that is wasn't in his lymph. (AKA the scan we were waiting to get for his sarcoma) Why God had to give us a scare to get that next scan done is beyond me, but like I said. He got the job done and answered a prayer in his own way. (Maybe I should be more specific as to how I would like those prayers answered next time) But it was a good reminder that he is in control and even though I don't like something, it doesn't mean down the road he hasn't purposed it for good.
So Tuesday was a very big day. Jonathan was mildly sedated to get his MRI. It did work this time, we got lots of good clear images. From the MRI Jonathan went in for the PET scan. By lunch he was starving and we were able to go out for a nice lunch. After the MRI, Inland imaging gives you a cd with all the images. So after lunch, I of coarse popped that cd in the computer and began to play radiologist. I had convinced myself it was bigger! Well it is bigger... In my very little knowledge of MRI scans, I can tell you his femur is now broken... Pretty minor but almost certain of it. I was comparing the images I had from the original scan, and it isn't way bigger, but there were changes. Then I started to talk myself down off the ledge. The original MRI was done 6 weeks before he started chemo. Maybe it grew that much in those 6 weeks? But to be honest, I was getting down. Then to top it off, Jax had a really rough day at school. I really love his teacher and I was able to spend some time talking with her. It was as if she knew simply by Jax's change in behavior that the stress level from home was high. That day in school, Jax boldly asked his class to pray for his daddy. He seemed sad and was not himself. Neither Jon or I told the boys what was going on, so it is amazing how much kids pick up on just by pure stress levels.
Wednesday was Jonathan's 30th birthday. Most people for a big birthday head out to a nice restaurant for a nice dinner and maybe a cocktail. Jonathan made his way back to the hospital for a methotrexate cocktail. Worst birthday cocktail ever! But as we do every day, we made the best of it. We decided after Jax had his bad day, that he needed some time with his daddy. So after a much better day at school, I picked him up and brought him right up to daddy's hospital room.
The PET scans results look good. There still are no other spots on his body. This is wonderful because this type of cancer spreads quickly. So we can stay focused on the knee. And the new absorption rate of the tumor in his knee is now at 7. This is less than half of the original number. So the chemo is working! The MRI weirdly enough is showing that the tumor is bigger. This could be explained by excessive amounts of inflammation from the tumor dying, and it could have grown that much in the 6 weeks before chemo started. But that is why both scans are required... It is in fact bigger, but it is far less active.
Dr. Raj had already called our surgeon in Seattle and was working on a game plan for coordinating both surgeries. Now that we have confirmed that this regiment of chemo is killing it, we can cut the tumor out. So because the melanoma is so minor, Dr. Chappie said he will just do the spots on Jon's back, roll him over and then do his knee all in one surgery. And by the way, surgery is next week! It was the best birthday present Jonathan has maybe ever received.
Jonathan seems to be handling the last round before surgery really well. We've spent so much time in his room trying to find things to do that we decided we need to start doing good things for others around the hospital. Make good use of our spare time... He was feeling well enough to go on a walk, so we decided to make our way down to the pediatric oncology unit of the hospital. I thought it may lift the spirits of some little kid to see a daddy that looks like they do. So we mounted a bike bell to his IV poll and he began to skateboard down the hall ringing his bell to let the nurses know he was on the loose. (he tries really hard to make them laugh, and Jonathan is quickly making friends) Once we got to the pediatric unit, Jonathan was instantly jealous... this place was WAY more fun looking!
They even had actual race car IV polls! And then on our way back, Jonathan discovered that the kids fish bridge was at a slight angle... AKA a perfect ramp for his skate board. He road it down the entire way and only hit the wall once.
Jonathan had a guys night planned for the night. Thank goodness it is football season and he can plan football parties in the hospital. We are so grateful to have so many wonderful people that come to visit him. I brought down an extra TV so the boys could play Xbox AND watch football. Making the best of your circumstances really makes a huge difference in how you physically feel... and having friends to help you do that is HUGE! (Thank you Dan and Danny)
Please pray for us as we make our way to Seattle this week. Jonathan has Surgery on Thursday and I know this is going to be the hardest part of this journey God has chosen us for. Jonathan had an old coworker stop by this week who has a husband also in a fight of his own and she said something that really struck me. "God gives us the grace to deal with our circumstances of today, but he does not give us the grace to deal with our imagination." I don't have any idea if she came up with that on her own, but if she did, she's a genius. I know when I begin to get discouraged it is often because I'm going through all the possible scenarios in my head. If you do that too much I don't see how you wouldn't be discouraged, because frankly you can really scare the crap out of yourself. Although I'm planning for tomorrow, because I'm a planner to the core of my being, I'm trying very hard to trust God and not worry about tomorrow. This week will be a true test to that!
But make up your mind not to worry beforehand how you will defend yourselves. Luke 21:14 NIV
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