I may have cancer, but I'm not sick!

As usual I'm getting messages asking how things are going this week... Sorry I'm a little behind with my weekly update. 

On Wednesday morning, Jonathan checked back into the hospital for his third round of chemo.  It is amazing how much you learn as you go through this process.  I now have the charge nurses direct line.  So first thing in the morning I called her to see if Jonathan's bed was ready.  The last 2 times checking in we waited around for hours in the hospital for a bed to open up on the oncology floor.  This time I called, we got right in, and they had his orders ready to go.  He had his IV hooked up very quickly and we were in business.  I feel like now that we are getting to know the people and the process, things are going better and far less stressful.

I can't begin to tell you how lucky we feel... Jonathan is handling this High dose Methotrexate really really well.  He has some very minor nausea issues, and still has not developed mouth sores.  That was something I really feared, because from what we were reading, those can be so painful and also prevent you from eating.  So we are so grateful he is not having some of the more common side effects.  Although he feels really pretty good while going through this dose of chemo, it is hard in other ways.  He feels like he could be at home and is so tired of the hospital, but this type of chemo while in high doses in your system can be dangerous.  So coming home too early isn't an option.  While in the hospital they are giving him doses of kidney rescue medications making sure he does not go into kidney failure.  If you come to visit him, you can not be in or around his bathroom.  Apparently any fluids that leave his body have the chemo in it, and it becomes air born.  The nurses have a cover for his toilet, and require a double flush system.  I was told if he begins to vomit, I need to evacuate the room and get a nurse.  (Again also very grateful the nausea is under control with this type of chemo)  I think some of these nurses are a little overly cautious though.  So it is hard to be at the hospital when you really aren't feeling that sick.  But it needs to be safe for the rest of us here at home when he does come home.  

Although the last two rounds of chemo were easier on Jonathan, they have been much harder on Jude.  Every time I leave to go visit Jonathan, he cries because he wants to go see daddy.  So Jude has been getting a few extra visits just for some one on one time with daddy.  I'm noticing he is really beginning to miss daddy at night time.  Daddy always put him to bed and Jude is doing his best to adjust, but is struggling a bit.  Jax however is really doing great.  I haven't seen any major attitude changes or anything that would cause worry.  He is really our trooper.  I think he is actually just enjoying having all these special visitors here to play with him. 

 

Jonathan has really been spending the last couple of weeks with the attitude of... If I think I'm sick and act like I'm sick, I will be sick and probably feel worse.  So last Tuesday he and a couple friends played 9 holes at the golf course.  It was sort of funny, because he asked the oncologist, and got the go ahead.  But a couple hours before he went to go play, his nurse came to the house to do his dressing changes for his port.  By the time he was done golfing the brand new dressing had been sweated off.  (This isn't really good because of his compromised immune system, this is where bacteria would be most susceptible)  So at the hospital he asked the nurse if they have sweat proof dressings.  The nurse said "typically chemo patients aren't golfing..."  I think he took that as a No.  Don't worry... He made another tee time for this Tuesday!  I will ask to be trained to change his dressing so it isn't taped back on with minion band aids this time. 

 

This week Jonathan's sister and new little bundle had their turn helping with the boys.  That is one brave girl to drive 6ish hours with a 3 month old by herself.  Not to mention taking on Jax & Jude with a 3 month old.  But Jonathan was excited to see baby Matthew and visit his sister and his mom who also came to help for the weekend. 

Next Wednesday Jonathan will check back into the hospital for another round of the stuff that hit him much harder.  He will get 2 doses of 2 different types over the coarse of 2 days.  I'm so grateful that my cousins are going to be here to help with the kids next week.  One is a nurse and the other is a paramedic... So when Jon comes home really sick, he will be in much better care!  And I think I'm way better prepared with other options in anti nausea meds. 

We continue to be overwhelmed with all the kind things people are doing for our family.  We are hearing about people donating sick leave so family members can be with us more.  We have had countless people volunteer to help in different ways at the big fund raiser in Moses Lake next weekend.  I guess the entire line crew that works with Jonathan's step dad Don have shaved their heads in support of Jonathan.  Again, I feel like a broken record, but having food brought to us is SUCH a blessing as well.  I could go on and on... But we are so encouraged by how good, kind and generous people are.

I want to remind everyone about the "car wash" (Only now it is a BBQ, Bake sale, Honey sale, car wash) fund raiser.  At this point, I'm planning on coming over to see everyone on Saturday.  I know Jonathan is going to be feeling awful, but he is in good hands.  So unless we get something horribly unexpected, the little boys and I will be there.  It is on Saturday the 6th at C&V Auto in Moses Lake from 9am to 3pm.

 

As Jonathan and I walk through this journey together I find myself grasping at scripture, books, sermons, quotes... anything that is encouraging, or a gut check.  I just want to make sure at every turn my head is screwed on right and we aren't making emotional decisions, but smart ones.  This week I had a couple of things I came across that I think are worth sharing.  The first was at church... for me, normally my most profound thinking happens there.  David, the pastor, went over the very common story of Daniel and the lions.  He said something that got me... Last week in my blog I mentioned people talking about the "why".  Well David asked why didn't God just do something to stop Daniel from ever being put into the lions den in the first place.  I thought, you know that really is a good question... God can do anything and why do we even have to go through something so scary.  But the end of Daniels story makes the answer to the "why" so obvious.  If Daniel never went into that Den, would we still be reading about him today?  It is his story, his testimony.  After the king saw how powerful Daniels God was, he told everyone he could think of.  This week I spent some down time skimming through a book my aunt gave me and I came across a quote that also struck me.  "As long as we see what has come to pass as being unfair, we'll be a prisoner of what might have been." (The book of awakening)  We are learning to accept that life isn't fair, but it offers moments that will change us, moments that will become our story, our testimony. 



What does normal look like with Cancer?

I have no idea what normal looks like when it comes to cancer, but this week has been as close to normal life as we've had for a while.  After jonathan came home from our unexpected stay at the hospital, he was feeling much better! He didn't have nausea, his dry mouth was way better and most importantly, he was eating!  The boys loved having "normal" daddy back.  He was able to spend some time playing baseball with the boys, He helped Jude learn how to Slip N' Slide, And Jon introduced Jax to the Ninja Turtle sequal... The secret of the Ooze.  (circa 1991)  He quickly learned this was a mistake as Jax wants to watch it about 3 times a day.

We were able to come get the boys from my parents.  Jon was totally fine in the car.  The boys had a great week going to the Demo derby, Rodeo, and fair.  It felt wonderful to finally have everyone for the most part feeling pretty good.  The only huge issue Jon was having is leg pain.  He is actually having quite a bit of pain in the location of the tumor.  The doctor said that most likely the cause of pain is necrosis of the tumor, or the tumor beginning to die.  As it shrinks, it begins to expose nerves which causes him shooting pain.  So it isn't an uncommon thing for him to stop dead in his tracks and just cringe in pain, and then it gets better.

On Wednesday morning we checked back into the hospital to start his next round of chemo.  This is a third type of chemo and so once again the unknown is a little scary.  This stuff is suppose to be a bit harder, but we shall see how he manages it.  As of today he seems far better then he did with the last 2 types.  I have advocated for some better/different options on medications.  So nausea seems to be under control and he is not getting the dry mouth.  This time we were a bit more prepared though... (Thanks Dana).  A big side effect that we are waiting for is severe mouth sores.  This hasn't happened yet though... staying hopeful.  Jonathan is able to eat these yummy dinners being brought to us since he is managing the nausea.  He can not thank you enough!  He is getting really stir crazy being stuck in the hospital room.  They won't allow him to go for a short walk or anything.  He keeps threatening the nurses that he is going to take his IV pump and use it as a skateboard in the hallway.  So I snuck a picture of his regular wall push up session...


A huge blessing that we are so grateful for is the amount of help we are getting with the kids.  My aunt Linda and ucle Frank have driven up for Oregon and are spending the week.  It is so incredible, we have had family members all volunteer for a week or 2, and we are actually covered all the way through Jon's surgery in October.  For those of you locally that are offering to help, please don't think I'm blowing you off, I'm just covered for a while.  It gives us such a huge peace of mind to know we don't have to worry about the kids for a while.

Jude is really starting to struggle with daddy being gone.  The night before daddy left to the hospital he was waking with something like night terrors.  He was screaming out for daddy but wasn't really awake.  This happened a couple of times before we decided to just let him sleep with daddy.  The next night when daddy was actually gone he had me awake wanting daddy again.  So I let the little washing machine sleeper in bed again.  Thankfully I think he is adjusting and we got him to stay in bed last night.  He is beginning to attach to uncle Frank and so that is helping.  But he really needed to see his daddy... So we arranged a special visit!

He wasn't shy about jumping right up in bed with daddy and getting some really good snuggles in.  It kind of melts your heart a little...

The only problem is this snuggle doesn't last too long before our little busy bee is into everything!  They decided to play Dr. Raj and check each other's blood pressure, give daddy rides on his bed and "accidentally" call the nurse a few times.

Jax is really being our little trooper.  He hasn't been showing too many signs of stress over our current life circumstance, however he is asking lots of questions about death.  He wants to read the bible stories about Jesus dying etc. and this is new behavior... I did finally get to spend some time with a family life specialist and talk about parenting kids going through something like this.  It is sad to learn that kids really are always thinking about the worst possible outcome.  It is crazy how much they actually do understand!  So I'm glad I got some time to chat with a therapist and learn some stuff to help the boys.  But I think mostly they are hanging in there pretty good, and I'm doing my very best to prepare and support them.

We get a lot of people in conversation talking about why or how could this happen?  People believe different things when it comes to a question like that, but we are really trying not to focus on that.  We know God's purpose is never to harm, we are just trying to be patient and open to learn what his purpose will be.  This week in my quiet time I was spending some time focusing on prayer.  I've been doing a lot more of that lately and this devotional was really focused on the state of your heart while praying.  I listened to a pod cast Jonathan's aunt Tammi sent us last week and it was discussing a lot of the why and how.  But it did touch on an idea that hasn't really occured to me.  I think for people of a catholic faith, this may be a less foreign concept, but using your suffering in prayer as a sacrifice for others.  This idea would really speak to the state of your heart to do something like this which was what my devotional was focusing on.  I think we all can be selfish people, and me just asking to get this over with and let us have "Normal" back would be a very different place than asking to use the suffering for a good purpose.  So this week, we are focusing on a heart check, and praying with the right motives.

Prayer requests: 1. Jonathan's Leg Pain, we think this is probably a good thing, but still painful none the less.  2. He is asking to pray for patients.  He is absolutely stir crazy, and we are just at week 1 of almost 3 straight weeks in the hospital.  3.  The boys and they are adjusting to this years "normal".  4. You wouldn't think it is so tiring to sit in the hospital all day every day, but it kind of is exhausting!  I need more restful sleep and to stay healthy and not become too exhausted from this.
Praise: 1. Jonathan seems to be handling this type of chemo fairly well.  AMEN!  Lets pray this stay this way.  2. Wonderful help with the kids  3. Wonderful friends that bring food and coffee... Jonathan's coffee girl Amber from Thomas Hammer even came to see him.  (that says a lot about that sweet girl!)  4. Great nurses!

Our food sign up sheet is full right now, Check back in 2 weeks, I'll probably have Nikki post our next few weeks of treatment coming in september/october.  And don't forget the car wash on the 6th!  Thank you so much to all of you that are doing this to help us.  I guess there is now a bake sale, BBQ and a car wash!  This is amazing and we are so humbled by peoples generosity.
  

Neutropenic

It took about 1 week after the start of Jonathan's first round of Chemo for him to start feeling better.  By last Wednesday, he was starting to eat some Mac and Cheese, read to the kids, and was coming out of the safety of his bed.  Thursday he was doing really well...  Then it was a fast road back to feeling really crappy!  It started with what we thought was a double ear infection, then it moved to maybe a sinus infection, and he was in really miserable shape by Sunday morning.  He decided to go to urgent care that morning and they did confirm he had a sinus infection but did not think he had an ear infection.  So we got some antibiotics.

Later that night, Jon and I were sitting outside, watching the boys in the hot tub when he told me his biopsy incision was so tender it hurt to even have his pants touch it.  I of coarse called my friends in the medical field, and my good friend Katie told us we needed to go to the ER.  Apparently when going through chemo, any small medical thing can be a big deal.  She was right!

At the ER we were told now that Jon does have a double ear infection, along with a sinus infection, and an infection in his leg.  After running all his blood we were told he was Neutropenic or has neutropenia.  This basically means you have an abnormally low white blood cell count.  This is often expected after chemo, but His counts were so low that bacteria that is normally present in your mouth etc. can cause infection.  And Jon's body was very obviously under attack.  So right there in the ER they started an IV antibiotic drip.  They then admitted him into the hospital for a few more days so he could continue these hard core antibiotics. 

So this is our life now for the next year I guess.  When you aren't in the hospital, you fear every little minor medical thing because it can very likely send you right back to where you came from.  Then there is the fear that whatever is sending you back is going to postpone your treatment of hell (chemo) which you actually want to have to save your life.  Because every time you postpone your chemo schedule, you reduce your chances. 

Jonathan actually had a better stay in the hospital this time around.  He was joking with nurses and making friends.  His favorite nurse Claire watched shark week with him while I wasn't there.  He wasn't nauseous and was feeling better as the antibiotics got pumped in.  We had a wonderful impromptu dinner that Gale brought us in the hospital.  I can not tell you all enough how much we love and appreciate food that is brought to us.  Jon took a picture of his dinner from the hospital that was delivered:

(those of you who enjoy hospital food, very sorry if this is offensive)  But Jonathan is VERY grateful for something other than mystery meat and fake mashed potatoes!  If you would like to help with food, This is something that we find very helpful.  Go to http://www.takethemameal.com/meals.php?t=QUFN4124&v=227183be69  We've had the new schedule posted for a little while now and there are still a few spots open for his next few rounds of chemo. 

Now that Jonathan is home and feeling much better things are getting back to normal for the most part.  His incision that was totally healed has split back open and is now oozing.  (Jon wouldn't let me post a picture... He says your are welcome Mom)  But I can deal with oozing incisions, that no problem.  We did end up getting to the ENT, and Jonathan is starting to experience minor hearing loss as that point.  This is a side effect of the Cisplatin and we will need to monitor this carefully.  The ENT doctor said he hasn't seen anyone totally loose their hearing, but after this is over, Jon very well may need a hearing aid. 

I got a wonderful gift from Stephanie, the photographer at our vow renewal.  I thought I would post the very cool video she made us.  And side note, this gal is awesome.  What a kind gift she gave our family and a very neat person.  If you need pictures... Call her!
http://animoto.com/play/U8c1SGDsu0whuc1Enx8ozw
www.shmilyfacephoto.com 
Stephanie Arieno   509-994-9323

Mary Davenport is also looking for help washing cars at her car wash fund raiser.  Please call her if you are able to help!  509-366-7200  This will be at C&V Auto on Sept 6th from 9-3.  Thank you to everyone that helps out in this way!  We are overwhelmed by your kind gesture. 

My inspiration for this week came from church on Sunday.  We learned about Esther this week.  I never would have thought the story of Esther would be one that would help much for something like this.  But in short, God's hiddenness does not equate to his absence.  Even though we can't see him and maybe we don't know where his hand is in each circumstance, but he is here.  He is working toward our deliverance.  In Esther 9:22 it talks about how sorrow is turned to Joy.  I can't see it now, and I don't know how it will be possible.  But I know God's plan is to use this and we will look back at this time and may never want to change it because of the Joy God will give us from it.  Sounds crazy, but I believe it!

We Celebrate 10 Years!

So I think it is about time for my once a week update on how things are going.  When I wrote last, Jonathan was just about hitting rock bottom after the first round of chemo.  This chemo stuff is really pretty horrible.  Jonathan spent most of the weekend and a good part of Monday pretty much curled up in a ball in bed, unable to open his eyes from extreme nausea, unable to eat or really put much in his mouth at all.  I was (or should say still am) pretty frustrated with the medications I was given to give to him.  It wasn't working... well maybe it was, he wasn't really throwing up, but the nausea was horribly uncontrolled.  I was given no back up meds as options when the first one wasn't working.  By Sunday afternoon Jonathan was down 6 lbs in 5 days.  This was torture for him, and me... watching him suffer is awful!  So this is my harsh reality that I need to be a better advocate for him and his care.  I need to be more prepared and push the doctors to give me what I need for the "what ifs".  

When learning about Jonathan's diagnoses, I read somewhere that 40% of cancer patients do not actually die from cancer itself, they die from the side effects of treatment.  It is becoming scary apparent that malnutrition is going to be our battle as he is now down 8 lbs in 8 days.  On Tuesday he was actually starting to eat again.  Jon's Aunt Tammy recommended home made mac and cheese (high calorie, and wet... he is suffering with horrible dry mouth) This was the first thing he ate an entire bowl of!  Trying to find foods that are high calorie, and not loaded with crap (sugar) that is feeding his cancer is a challenge.  I have given him ice cream at night just to get calories down him though.  He is starting to eat better now, but not the amount he was eating before this ordeal.  So even though he is eating, he isn't eating enough to gain weight back! 

As the days go by, Jonathan's nausea is really a ton better, but the leg pain that was almost gone, has returned.  I'm starting to wonder if they were giving him IV pain meds in the hospital that we were unaware of and that is actually why his leg was feeling better?  Another trouble he is having is that he is developing issues with his hearing... One of the side effects of chemo is high frequency hearing loss.  He isn't having trouble with that, but he says his hearing sounds super muffled and at times it is also really sensitive.  So I've scheduled an apt with an ENT dr. for Monday to explore what is going on with this!

I've gotten many texts wondering about "the spot" in his pelvis.  When I spoke to the dr. this week, I asked for a more detailed explanation.  I guess at times we all have certain spots where we get bone growth.  This is what they think the spot is.  He said it does not look cancerous at this time.  But they are going to continue to monitor it just to make sure that doesn't change. 

Yesterday, Jonathan and I celebrated our 10 year anniversary!  I have some really really amazing friends... A few weeks ago I was really struggling with what in the world we could do to celebrate when Jon can't really go out to eat, we can't go anywhere... So what's left?  My friends came up with a fantastic idea! 

 

We renewed our vows!  My girl friends did all the work planning and figuring out all the details for a small ceremony.  At about 4:30 I told Jonathan he couldn't leave the bedroom.  I was shocked at everything these girls put together.  So just before the ceremony started, I made my way upstairs and asked if he would Marry me.  (Luckily he said yes, or the next few hours would have been pretty awkward)

He was greeted down stairs by a small group of friends and an official ceremony.  Jax and Jude gave their mommy away, and Scott put together a very special little ceremony.  We had cake, fruit and a popcorn bar.  The girls even surprised me and got a real photographer... and just from her sneak peak photos, she did a great job.  It was the perfect way to celebrate 10 years!  He is going to have to do something really special at 20 years to top this.



The boys are coping with what is happening with daddy in their own ways.  Jax doesn't want to leave him and wants to hurry home whenever we do.  Jude who is a daddy's boy from day one, seems really cautious of daddy and is acting more like a mommy's boy now.  I'm trying to think of ways to help them feel involved and more comfortable.  So we taught them how to help and gave them the title of daddy's at home doctors.  This is a picture of the boys learning how to flush daddy's lines with heparin. 

They are really happy daddy is getting back to some normal daddy activities such as yelling at them for fighting... Oh wait, maybe I'm happy about that!  But they do love when daddy reads to them and plays board games.  All things daddy can do from bed. 

 

We are looking forward to this next week as Jonathan continues to feel better.  We are trying to plan some fun things that daddy can do before he is admitted back into the hospital on the 20th.

 

Many of you have been asking for the links to our other support sites.  Here is the link to the "Take them a Meal" page.  http://www.takethemameal.com/meals.php?t=QUFN4124&v=227183be69   I must say that on the days we have food delivered it is a huge blessing.  That is less time I have to take to go to the grocery store, cook, etc.  And we are able to eat off of left overs for a few days.  Thank you to everyone that has brought us a meal already.  It really is a huge help!

 

Here is a link to the fund me site that Jonathan's sister has set up.  http://www.gofundme.com/bxwja0   As I am learning about how all of our finances are going to pan out with COBRA, probationary waiting periods etc. this is just something that gives us a little peace of mind that if we need it, we aren't going to be in the red at the end of the month (or hopefully when this is all over!)  So thank you so much for those of you who have donated and supported us in this way. 

 

Jonathan's cousin Mary is working on a car wash the beginning of next month.  I've been getting lots of people contacting me about info on this.  I'm not sure how to link a FB event, but it is on Sept. 6th in Moses Lake, at C&V Auto from 9am - 6pm.  I know she need volunteers to help wash cars etc.  This is such a kind gesture of support and if you want to let Mary know you would like to help out, please email her at mary_davenport@live.com. 

 

We continue to be overwhelmed by how kind and generous so many people near and far are being to our family.  This is a huge reminder about how many good people there are out there.  We are so grateful for all of you. 

 

Thank you for all your prayers!

Jonathan's Nutritional requirements, and Recipe Ideas

So if you are reading this blog post, it probably means you are looking for information on what you can make to bring our family food.  I first want to tell you how grateful I am for your heart of service and generosity.  I can't tell you how much Jonathan, and probably more so myself, appreciate what you are doing for us.

At this time because Jonathan is down so much weight, the nutritionist has lifted any dietary restrictions.  You can bring whatever you would like.  We have no allergies etc.

Thank you!

The war has begun...

Well, it's Saturday night, and I'm happy to report I am laying in bed next to Jonathan.  They released him from the hospital early after his first round of chemo and he was able to come home Friday late afternoon.  I could not be happier that he is home!  We had a very long week...

Tuesday morning we checked into Holy Family Hospital for Jonathan to have his Hickman put in... 

This is basically a central line right to his heart, and that big vein in your neck.  This is placed so that they are not having to start an IV on Jon constantly.  It took a while to get the procedure going, so I high jacked a blood pressure thing and practiced finding blood pressure on his leg, myself etc.  Jon tried kicking me out for "dicking around" but I had him laughing!  I'm going to need to know how all this hospital stuff works right?! (and will do anything for a smile)  Pretty much as soon as he woke up, I had to get him out the door for his PET scan.  He was pretty loopy, but nothing worth video taping.  (No chance he is getting on Ellen)  By this time it was 2:30 and the poor guy was still required to be fasting... Anyway, for this scan they had to inject him with a very very radioactive glucose.  I was not allowed around him for 2 hours.  This scan was requested by the doctors in Seattle to get a baseline of the tumor.  They will do another scan just before surgery I think to compare.

Although Jon was pretty uncomfortable after his minor procedure, we had to prepare for war.  So all the boys shaved their heads!  The next morning was the big day that we start down this rough road.  Jon checked into the hospital and they didn't have a room ready for him.  So for most of the day we waited in a temp room on the 9th floor with a new friend Bill (a heart attack patient) and his wife Pam.  Apparently you can only be administered chemo from the nurses trained for it on the oncology floor... so for most of the day we did nothing.  They started fluids around 3 pm, moved him to his room around 5 and were starting chemo around 6:30pm.  This was a little frustrating, as we were getting a little anxious to get the show on the road... Especially when we heard the news on the PET scan!  At around 3:00 that day, the Oncologist called to tell us that the PET scan is showing another small hot spot on Jonathan's left pelvis.  So they were ordering MRI scans for the next morning to explore what this new spot means. 

On Thursday Jon woke up pretty nauseous, but slept good.  They give some really good sleep meds to sleep off some of the side effects.  They took him in for MRIs at around 9 am.  Then we watched movies, snuggled and napped until they started his next round at 5 pm. 

Jonathan is really struggling with the nausea.  He also has a super dry mouth, no appetite and anything that I can get him to put in his mouth doesn't taste good.  Then if he does get it down, it comes back up.  We are at about day 3 of almost no food.  He did have a small amount of smoothie and a couple pieces of fruit today and didn't throw them up.  But I'm really concerned.  Jon can't stand to loose 15 pounds, so I need to figure this out sooner rather than later.  I will be having a chat with the doctor on Monday.   I will also be asking more about what this other "spot" means.  The doctor told Jonathan is wasn't a metastasized spot but that we need to watch it very carefully.  (The dr. does his rounds at 6:30 am so I'm not there to get all the info)  So, I would like to ask what that means? 

Thank you to all the people that have brought food this week.  Thank you to all the friends and family who have helped with the kids.  I especially want to thank my parents, who have on numerous occasions now, dropped everything to help us since Jon's diagnosis.  Thank you to the neighbors, for cleaning, washing, mowing etc.  Thanks Brother for the doggie door!  (Tuga thanks you)

Prayer requests: 1. Jonathan's nausea and appetite.  2. I need prayer... This is a lot to manage.  3. The boys... I think I'm going to pursue family counseling, play therapy etc.  I'm beginning to worry about what kids are going to say to them about their dad, and what they will begin to see.  I want to prepare them and give them confidence in knowledge.  4. This spot... Can we catch a break and maybe it can be just nothing?  Something we don't even need to watch carefully.

Praise: 1. Jonathan mentioned that the pain in his leg is substantially less if not totally gone!  I can't imagine this could be anything other than good news.  Thank you God he has at least got some relief there!  2. One round of chemo down and finished.

I spent some time tonight in a Joyce Meyer study.  I loved her book Battlefield of the Mind.  (If you haven't read this book... You should!)  I know that winning this battle for Jonathan is going to require positive thinking.  This really sucks... It does!  But if we live with that mindset, satin wins.  Choosing right thinking and winning the battle in our mind is huge.  Actually believing all these scriptures about God's healing power, trusting and knowing God wants to heal will help our fight.  The only way we will win this war, is if we win as many of these little battles as we can.